Funny Texans: April 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Around 1919 this poster came out.....

Would you want to give up booze if this is what waited for you at home?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Texas Rangers Really Really Really Suck!

Amazingly Washington still employed?

Funny Mexican

Can't believe this guy! He should be strung up by is blackberry using thumbs.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me
just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf
Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of
you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the
world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas . Pick any kid
off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt
and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of
any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but
who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings
in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes
just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off
in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, 'Wow...so you're from Iowa ? Cool,
tell me about it?' Do you know why? Because no one gives a crap about Iowa
.'

Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing
thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance
to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for
the cause of freedom.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and
Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand
and they decided to cross it and be heroes.

John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas .

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Anna at San Jacinto .

Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest .

Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend

Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill
Country.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas .

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork .

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico .

Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington
and the Astrodome. (guess now the Reliant Stadium too)

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley,
Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones,
Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell
Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn,
Howard Hughes, George H. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George W. Bush. and
let's not forget GEORGE STRAIT

PANTERA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments and Compaq,
Bell Heilocopter And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet
Fighter and the JSF Fighter.
Texas is NASA.

Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.

Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.

Texans have pride like no others.

Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.

Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of geese.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high
school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night
Football, and for the Night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San
Antonio.

To drive across Texas is to drive 1/4 the way across the United States .

Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies,
and modern cities.

If it isn't in Texas , you probably don't need it.

Everything's bigger in Texas !

No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas .

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag
at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You
fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine ,
and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars
and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the
Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it
is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol
is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in
Washington , D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time
if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came
on. That's the best part, right there.

Texas even has its own power grid!! ... Did I mention Live music capitol
of the world?

If you are a REAL TEXAN, you won't even need to be told to pass this on.