Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Know yer Rights tonight.

http://www.dallascriminaldefenselawyerblog.com/2008/12/new_years_no_refusal_round_up.html

Dr. Joseph Agris True Texan

Texan goes nuts on his way to Omaha

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas Texas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

More Thoughs on the BCS

Here’s a thought for the whole BCS mess. Texas and Oklahoma will never play nice in the same sandbox. If the powers that be will not work out a system to decide a national championship, I will. Ever since the Big 8 invited the Texas schools to join the conference, the OU vs. TX game was no longer just about bragging rights, and recruiting; it was a conference game that would lead to the league championship.

It’s time for Texas to walk. Texas needs to leave the Big 12 for the PAC 10. I would recommend Texas use its clout to bring along UTEP out of Conf USA as well. BOOM! The PAC 10 now has roots in Texas! USC and Texas are now in a 12 team league with a championship game. The recruiting advantage would be great for Texas…”Son you can stay in state for school and we’ll travel to cities like Las Vegas and Los Angeles…Not Stillwater OK or Lincoln NE. You’ll also be playing in a bigger media market!” Additionally you can no longer discount the PAC 10 champ because they didn’t play in a conference championship game.

The annual OU vs. TX game will now be a non conference game and will add to both schools strength of schedule.

What happens to the big 12 you ask? Well, Arkansas needs to get out of the SEC and come home. The Cotton Bowl will now be home to the OU vs. TX game and we’ll move the Arkansas vs. A&M game to Dallas as well. The SEC can cherry pick any team it wants from the ACC or the Big East.

When it Snows in Houston, Auto repair shops jump for joy

Monday, December 8, 2008

Houston area School to start random drug searches on Teachers...Wait, WHAT?!

Thoughts from a Sooner....Bob Stoops does not "run up the score" because he has no class.


This whole argument that Stoops runs up the score is ridiculous. There have been so many fourth quarters this year where Joey Hazle, the backup quarterback as well as second and third string players got put in to play the game. A coach cannot tell a second or third string player to “ease up” especially when that may be the only time he is on the field in front of his friends and family. Also, Stoops did not design the system. The simple fact that Texas beat OU and yet now OU is playing for the national championship, should tell any UT person who made it even through one semester of school that “style points” are just part of the game/system and that class has nothing to do with it. Mack Brown, should figure out that if you want to be a “nice guy” you should not be a college coach and that a game where you try to knock the snot out of the guy in front of you does not involve allot of "class."

Many UT fans get confused between the University of Texas and the State itself as if they are one in the same. The University has always had a mediocre to high-level of a football program. The state has always had mediocre to poor programs even during the Southwest conference. OU has seven national championships, 42 conference championships, 24 bowl wins with 41 appearances, the longest winning streak in college football history, the most points scored in any season by a college football team (706 this year), and according to the NCAA, the number one football program and modern era. OU only looks at UT as a mere spoiler to its championship season every year. Basically, we view you as you view the A&M Aggies.

This is the first season, UT did not choke the rest of the season after losing one game. Good for Texas-ya’ll are learning. Bob stoops knows that you have to play EVERY game the hardest no matter whether you are winning or losing in order to reach a national championship and that you never stop playing until the time runs out because the one moment that you stop, you loose, 45-35. Mack Brown is slowly starting to figure out that “style points” are unfortunately a strategy these days and not to be used in some type of crappy argument over class. OU vs. Florida for the NC….enough said.

Cool Video

North Texas Weather Men take note!

Ben Bowman is an honorary Texan!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Good News of the Day

Part of the Evil Towing/Valet conglomerate, Lone Star Auto Services was ordered to stop operating after its actions during the OU-Texas game.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WW II US RANKED 4TH

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

Go ahead and moon the camera when you run the red light.

Traffic Cameras are not legal! You could even be getting your money back.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Monday, November 17, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

WOW

Friday, October 24, 2008

Now that's a list!

Best Bartenders in Dallas.

Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters

funny either way you are going in this election!

“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

-David Sedaris

Monday, October 20, 2008

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

Oklahoma did invade Texas once.

The legacy of Alfalfa Bill.

Blast from the Past! Bonehead Club of Dallas!


Mayor R.L. Thornton, Sr. couldn't open the State Fair of Texas Saturday, members of the Dallas Bonehead Club tied his hands on Friday.

JFK would be proud.

Dead people voting in Houston! Click Here!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

How beer works.

Click here

HOME

Congrats North Shore

73 wins in a row!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Hunting Cabin Fire Alarm!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

Tough Texan

Ouch.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Friday, August 8, 2008

NICE

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

Not your fathers GOP

Dumb A@@

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Monday, June 16, 2008

Sad

Is there a lesson here?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Genius

Muppets Rule!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Monday, June 2, 2008

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Friday, May 30, 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Monday, May 19, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

Redneck Seafood


Thanks Jami!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Around 1919 this poster came out.....


Would you want to give up booze if this is what waited for you at home?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Texas Rangers Really Really Really Suck!

Amazingly Washington still employed?

Funny Mexican

Can't believe this guy! He should be strung up by is blackberry using thumbs.

This essay was sent to me.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me
just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf
Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of
you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the
world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas . Pick any kid
off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt
and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of
any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but
who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings
in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes
just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off
in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, 'Wow...so you're from Iowa ? Cool,
tell me about it?' Do you know why? Because no one gives a crap about Iowa
.'

Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing
thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance
to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for
the cause of freedom.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and
Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand
and they decided to cross it and be heroes.

John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas .

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Anna at San Jacinto .

Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest .

Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend

Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill
Country.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas .

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork .

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico .

Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington
and the Astrodome. (guess now the Reliant Stadium too)

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley,
Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones,
Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell
Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn,
Howard Hughes, George H. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George W. Bush. and
let's not forget GEORGE STRAIT

PANTERA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments and Compaq,
Bell Heilocopter And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet
Fighter and the JSF Fighter.
Texas is NASA.

Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.

Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.

Texans have pride like no others.

Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.

Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of geese.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high
school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night
Football, and for the Night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San
Antonio.

To drive across Texas is to drive 1/4 the way across the United States .

Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies,
and modern cities.

If it isn't in Texas , you probably don't need it.

Everything's bigger in Texas !

No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas .

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag
at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You
fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine ,
and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars
and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the
Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it
is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol
is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in
Washington , D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time
if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came
on. That's the best part, right there.

Texas even has its own power grid!! ... Did I mention Live music capitol
of the world?

If you are a REAL TEXAN, you won't even need to be told to pass this on.

Funny Goose

Never knew a goose could direct traffic.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Cow Wash

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Storm Damage in Plano


Monday, March 17, 2008

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The gardening club is about to get very popular!

http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=107835e3-5296-4cf5-99dd-06575f036f32

Natural Bridge Caverns has new passages

Too bad they're hidden!

US Astronauts set to do battle with evil Canadian Robot.

Blame Canada!

Aggies set to play at Jerryland!

Woo Pig Souie! Razorbacks!

Prosecutors: Microwave baby’s dad had sex in police interrogation room

That's the headline...no changes...by the way the girlfriend is back home in Arkansas.

I call BS on this one

I am suprised Fox picked it up...the kid just happend to be recording with his phone.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

St. Pats is one thing Dallas does right.

Mexico

He has a girlfriend...WOW!

Aggies vs Longhorns.

This time on Business School Rankings.

Caucus chair uncovers discrepancies!

Really! I didn't see that one coming. It's funny because the guys name is Skidmore.

Big city or small town, the problems are the same.

Cool letter to the editor.

U.S. Bowling Congress moves to Texas .

Suck it Milwaukee!

If the shuttle launches in the middle of the night and no one is around to hear it does it make a noise?

Good luck Endeavour.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Next the city will raise his taxes since he has waterfront property

http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=620453ab-df2c-47c1-89ab-02d380f73d9c

Houston Control After Dark

Kinda like Big Brother After Dark, but for nerds.

Quit horsing around!

You Jackass. It's not cussing since that's what the story is about.

Best Car Chase Footage Ever.

Think this guy may have been a stunt driver? NASCAR set to speak with him in 3 to 5 years.

International Texans provide great content.

Kudos to the Australian reporter for giving it to this creep.

Plainview Texas finally votes in alcohol sales.

Wayland Babtist University in Lockdown.

UT denies showing ideological preference.

Holds straight face for 30 seconds then bursts out laughing!

Pro Video Game league holding tryouts at SXSW

Watch out NASCAR...that's an Xbox on your A$$.

Obama supporters have A D D

Didn't complete the ballot.

Texas Rangers desperate for pitching.

You throw like a girl.

Spring Break starts in Padre

Midwest students not going to Mexico...Drug war.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Every Vote Counts!

But the good guys always win

Attention Obama supporters, don't throw your yard sign away

Regardless of your politics, cool idea.

A moment of Silence

Today is the day the Alamo fell.

Austin has a Mexican Mafia boss?

Of course they do silly it's the state capitol.

The Snow is Coming!

Everybody Panic!

Odessa short on teachers...

It's not learning time, it's movie watching time!

Zero Tolerance Policy

Expanded from your local high school to the Mexico border.

From the redundancy department of redundancy

Austin Mayor sentenced to 20 hours community service.

We don't need no stinking badges..

Or license or guns to be a peace officer. Stay Classy Elsa TX.

From the "What in the world is going on" department.

The guy with the bat is coward and has punched his ticket on the Express Jet to Hell.

Coach of the year Candidate.

Doesn't strike me as the type of guy who will do too well in prison.

Marcus Please re-think your decision on LSU

This is what you will look like after you junior year.

This story must have the wrong picture.

No spelling bee contestant would be caught dead in an LSU shirt...right? Good luck Marcus!

Pee Wee Herman to be vindicated.

Looks like the Alamo will get a basement.

Cop has gun taken away by suspect he was arresting.

Will be teased and mocked by his coworkers for the next 6 months.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Can you say Good ol Boy Network!

Interesting independent reporting.

What happens if you stay stoned for an entire week?

I'll give you a hint, it involves Gilligan and UFO's.

Someting is wrong with the water in Odessa.

These two should be locked up waisting the air the rest of us use to breathe.

Texas one step closer to Casino Gambling

Grab ma and carton of menthols we gonna cash our welfare check and hit the slots! The new casino in Garland rocks, it's got a TGI Fridays INSIDE THE CASINO!

Finally a caucus meltdown

look for it on your local news.

Be careful when hunting squirrls

Now they can shoot back.

Fort Worth Caucus

Indoor Rodeo

Houston we have a problem

No stabbings but best so far!

El Paso Caucus

No stabbings here either.

Rowdy night.

No Stabbings reported yet.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Carpetbaggers coming to town.

Shootings and stabbings to commence around 7:00. Funniest phrase overheard today..."I'll Caucus if I can get off".

Judge banned from Hearing DUI Cases since he has one.

To make things more awkward he can't hear cases from the cop who arrested him. Your boss has an eye booger.

Worst Wedding Weather Contest

Texas couple makes it to the finals! Click on the link and vote for them!

Big Turnout expected today. GO VOTE!

Ron Paul supporters out in droves.

Rock you like a hurricane.

Bullies due some payback. Probably will happen in High School. Probably will involve high powered guns.

Don't taze me bro!

Corpus Cops Cus whimpy Tazer.

Dead=Dead

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law in Texas.
ok, click now and read the story.

It's dolphin season in Texas.

Taste like chicken.

Texans prepare to Caucus

Newspapers prepare to report on the shootings and stabbings at the Caucuses.

No more afternoon delight in Abilene.

Mayor relieved he was out of town when bust went down.

Maybe the East Texas Cop is on to something.

Mexico needs a new hobby.

Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do?

If you live in Houston, take this quiz!

Former Cop turns to the dark side.

When I say turning to the dark side, I mean running for congress...not the part about him selling DVD's on how not to get busted for growing pot. East Texas Rulz!

Potty Humor