City girls don't know much about hunting.

Check out the moon tomorrow.

The Decade that brought us Disco wasn't all bad.

Cat Fight

What to do in Crawford Texas

Lee Harvey Oswald's coffin up for auction!?!?!?!

So long Fake Wade! Hello Fake Jason

New T-Mobile ad.

Texas declares war on the USA

Texas Declares War on the USA

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when
his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented
southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at
Goliad Texas , I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we
are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed
important news!   How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments
calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my
next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole Dart Team
from Hooters. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have
one million men in my army waiting to move on my
command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have at call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "
Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack
asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and
Harry’s John Deere tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie,
that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored
personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to
ya."

Sure enough, Archie called again about twenty
minutes later.. " President Obama , the war is still
on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up
an' modified Harolds's ultra-light with a couple of
shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000
bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.  My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided,
surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Well, crap," said Archie, "l'll have ta call "yew"
back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "
President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell ya that
we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack . "Why the
sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves
down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come
to realize that there's just no way we can feed two
million prisoners.."

GOD BLESS TEXAS!

Boomer Sooner...and scene!

As A-Rod Goes down...some D-Bag hold the Texas Flag upside down.

Here we go Rangers, Here we go!

Zombies invade Deep Ellum...Raise money for the food bank.

Go Rangers! Do what is does, it do what it do!

Download David Brashier - This Team Do What It Do

Chilean miners argue to be last out, the miner who found out both his wife and girlfriend topside is the winner.

Transgender Teen didn't make the cut....maybe cut is the wrong word for this story.

Hind Lick!

Atomic Wedgie - Punchline - 2 Texans

Atomic Wedgie

MySpace Video

You're Doing it WRONG!

OOPS!

Man busted for DUI wearing shirt that states he has a drinking problem...No this didn't involve any Texas Tech Students.

Congress isn't completely worthless.

Bad weekend for Horns fans.

You thought our governor race was tough.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/world/7215312.html

Redneck Engineering..

http://nedhardy.com/2010/09/23/who-says-rednecks-arent-clever-the-best-of-redneck-engineering/

Is this racist?

http://www.csmonitor.com/Innovation/Horizons/2010/0922/BlackPad-Half-BlackBerry-half-iPad

5 year old Texas boy escapes day care to go to Hooters

One frustrated Gator.

Darwin Award Candidate

Religon of Peace?

He talks like a Texan but he's from New Jersey

Fake or Real Click Here.

GOOGLE BALLS

Check out the wacky logo for Google Sept 7th What does it mean?

It's football season!

OUCH! Kids these days!

CONAW!

http://www.teamcoco.com/

Cool image of Hurricane Earl from the Space Station

Drunk Aggies Dancing at Hurricane Harry's

This is how every married man feels every waking moment of his life.

Jimmy!

Got Bees?

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

REALLY!?!?!?!

Why bother?

One of my favorite movies re-cut.

FAIL

This is PG-13 but funny!

Rick Perry is attending a fund raiser in Virgina!  Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

Everythings Amazing & Nobodys Happy

More Chuck Norris

Back from vacation

Sorry folks, I was out of pocket for a few days of Swiming, Shooting and Fishing...Here's a picture from a long weekend at the Diamondback Ranch in Meridian Tx

Warm Beer meets a .22

One thing all the illegals in this country have shown us is proper use of an HOV lane.

Michael Irving is a love machine!

http://cowboysblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2010/08/cowboys-great-michael-irvin-cl.html

I don't care how drunk you are...you hit a woman in Texas you will probably get an ass beating from a complete stranger.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/08/04/ex-ufc-star-in-bloody-street-fight-roger-huerta-austin-texas-video/

Signs? Really?

Summer Camp Aint what it used to be.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3927982,00.html

First MTV Broadcast....Kids, MTV uses to play something called Rock Videos.

Interesting Sun Shade Spotted in Dallas....Think this guy is Pissed of at someone?

All out war in Mexico along Texas border has not spilled over...Apparently they remember what happed last time. Chuck Norris seen heading to Laredo.

It's almost football season in Dallas.

Tomorrow is National Tequila Day...this isn't going to end well!

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2010/07/22/ways-celebrate-national-tequila-day/?test=faces

iPhone song

Double Rainbow guy!

More proof every country has rednecks!

41 Years ago today a man walked on the moon!

If we kept going back it would of looked something like this....

Mug Shot of the Month!

Dallas Valet

Terrible BMW Parking Job Wrecks Two Cars - Watch more Funny Videos

Invisible Gorilla test returns!

Nasty smelling flower Blooming in Houston.

Looking for something to do this weekend?  Go check out the freaks from Westboro Baptist Church! They will be in town protesting stuff.

One more reason you don't telemarket to Texas.

One more reason to hate people who wear Ed Hardy shirts.

Tosh.0
Bros Icing Bros
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption 2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction Demi Moore Picture

Happy 4th of July!

i phone lady fail!

Russian Cargo Ship Veers Out of Control Near Space Station...someone call Bruce Willis!

New Super Villan...Diaper Face!

Pastor with a sense of humor

Camo for the ladies!

Don't Taze my Granny!

Don't Taze My Granny!

Bacon is meat candy!

Sometimes it's good to be a cop!

Dallas my finally shake off that whole prohibition thing.

UT panel to review dorm named for KKK leader...this is no Aggie joke!

Crazy events happeing around Dallas Police Chief.

So LA....How's that whole boycott Arizona thing working out for ya?

Green Pollution

Texas Women on Opening Day.

New Workout Program for Women.

Stimulus FAIL!!!

Remember back during the great panic the government was pushing the idea to start funding "shovel ready projects" around the country to re-build bridges, highways, and other municipal projects that no money was available for? To appease everyone some compromises had to be made. Small towns, and I mean SMALL towns, some with less than a few hundred residents were going to get some updated sidewalks that would finally meet ADA requirements. Nice idea on the surface, but just like everything the government is involved with, the outcome was...well...less than ideal. Below are some photos of some sidewalks built in small towns in Oklahoma.

This sidewalk was cut across a local street for some reason, the town will now have to deal with maintaining the asphalt on either side for years to come. Why they didn't stop the sidewalk at the edge of the street like most sidewalks is a question only the Federal Redundancy Department of Redundancy can answer.

After one government agency put in this sidewalk, another government agency said it has to be torn out and redone because this sidewalk is not immediately adjacent to the building's wall as regulations require. Wouldn't it be easier to knock the building over with a feather? Better yet, why didn't they use the money to restore the building so someone could occupy it and possibly SELL STUFF!

Remember the Bridge to nowhere in Alaska? Here we have a sidewalk to NOWHERE! Looks like you could go fishing off the end, maybe it's for tourism.

Check out our latest Blog, Ask A Texan!

www.AskaTexan.com

email your question to AskaTexan@gmail.com

If you have a gas can in your car...don't light a cigarette!

Cool Car Chase

I was late for my flight at DFW

Car Jumps Tollbooth At DFW Airport - Watch more Funny Videos

Mark your Calendar for the BlackStones

Woman Freaks out over American Idol winner....sad for our Country

Mom of the year...funny fat kid.

Mexican Pirates show up on Texas Lake...Time to send in the National Guard? Na this is Texas just send in Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent.

Ever wanted to own your very own Brothel? Now is your chance!

Texas Size Tramp Stamp...Daddy must be proud!

Think your Monday Sucks?

This guy is having a bad day.

More proof that police officers are not botanists.

http://www.tokeofthetown.com/2010/05/hundreds_of_pot_plants_seized.php

New Metal Detectors installed at the Capitol in Austin. This being Texas, express lanes where added for those people with concealed handgun permits.

Houston Area Purse Snacher is having a bad day.

Arrested - Texas style - Watch more Funny Videos

Los Angeles to Arizona: We're gonna boycott your ass!
Arizone to Los Angeles: That's fine we'll just start shutting down these here power plants that provide 25% of all your electricity.
Los Angeles to Arizona: YOU! WE! ????? Let us get back to you on that.

Hail hits Oklahoma City

Pool Bombarded by Incredible Hail Storm - Watch more Funny Videos

Great Slide Show

Don't get old and sick in Texas.

people of walmart...always entertaining

Best piece of Pizza EVER!

TNT new show, "Queer eye for the Muslim guys"

Attention Frisco! This is NOT FUNNY! The HOA board should go to jail.

German Rednecks

Hood Rats

Couple of Good Ol Boys have figured out how to clean up the oil slick...will anyone listen?

How did this guy live past 30?

Not to be out done by Ft. Worth, Dallas gets it's own naked guy on a billboard.

More naked news in Fort Worth

R2D2 can do ANYTHING!

At present, Article 67 of Law says, "Authorities, whether federal, state or municipal ... are required to demand that foreigners prove their legal presence in the country, before attending to any issues." SOUNDS HARSH? MAYBE READ MORE AFTER THE JUMP.

Our governor can kick your governors ass!

If you live in Lewisville, lock your doors!

Target no longer has a Mexican Food isle.

This is going to end well, Thanks Russia!

Best Slide Show of the Day

Stuff to remember.

"Shaking" it, in the garden section!

More Naked News

Dude...just call in sick OK?

These guys are idiots, but they're Old School!

http://kgnb.am/radio/two-new-braunfels-police-officers-assaulted-three-assailants-arrested-after-wild-scene-winston-avenu

Check out the radical far rightwing ideas the Tea Party people came up with. By the way a Texas is the one who came up with this idea, his name is Ryan Hecker.

Dallas Sports Anchor has Brass Ones

More animal humor

Ewe got to be kidding me!

Way to go Randy!

Forget FT. Lauderdale, Dallas is the place to get crazy on Spring Break

http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2010/03/naked_man_on_john_carpenter_fr.php

Fort Worth Priest decks a Jehovah witness.

Mom of the year candidate spotted in Oklahoma City...looks like a dude.

How to Scare the Taliban and al qaeda. (About 45 seconds in)

New record, 4 women in space at the same time! Someone tell the space shuttle to shut off it's left turn signal!

Google and Topeka swap names! Happy April 1st

Chicken or the egg?

The La Maison apartments in Houston are about to be completely leased out by single middle aged men.

Cool Star Wars Site

Mud and Bud!

20 day purification and weight loss program.

Friday Thoughts from Gordon Keith.

I need a caption for this one. Use the Comments section Below.

Best Instructional Video Ever!

Gladys Hardy from Austin TX Steals the show.

I did a double take on the 4th paragraph of this news release.

If you live in Austin, starting Monday you can ride the Train to work.

Dallas hosts Cocaine and Boob Job St. Pats Party.

Rebel Scum

Need a Pimp? Head to Little Elm.

Canada Called, they need to borrow Chuck.

How to rob a bank.

The first rule of Facebook fighting is we do not talk about Facebook fighting!

Some Michigan Nerds get to be Texans for a day.

Cool Art from SXSW

The Texas State Board of Education decided Thomas Jefferson was not important enough to reference in the high school history books.

Here's a web site we can all get behind!

Happy 70th Birthday Chuck Norris! All Texans bow before mighty Chuck!

Evidently Dallas Jews have a special store...not a jewelry stores. Barmitsfa!

Cool Tornado Video! Fortunately no one was hurt!

The new McKillYou.

If you live in Dallas and plan on partying on Lowest Greenville this week, bring your bail money.

Did you know a Wal-Mart Manager can have Texas Judges put in the LOONEY BIN?

Texas Judge Says Death Penalty Unconstitutional

Reason number 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 we need to remove party affiliation from State Board of Education Electoral process.

Lets hope this trend moves to Texas!

Adios Hurricane, I will miss you...but not the Dbag who used to camp out at the end of the bar on Saturdays.

Ride the Wave next time your on Washington Ave in Houston!

Things that make you go Hmmmmmm!

Funny Vid from Congress!

Bad Granny on the lose in Houston!

Cynosphere: Real invention!

NASA has a new set of windows. Idea for screen door canceled.