Funny Texans: June 2009

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Monday, June 29, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009

My wife is a BAD ASS!

After a long year of shaping the minds of little 4th grade kids here in North Texas, My wife came home after her last day of school, and encountered a snake! It fell from the Garage door as the door was opening...(something you would see in a Stephen King movie.) Bad Ass (my wife)was a little shocked but quickly closed the door on the confused creature, trapping it's head inside the garage, and it's body outside.

Now, my wife being the Bad Ass that she is, didn't call and interrupt my drinking time at the bar...no, my wife the Bad Ass (Seen Below) had a plan.

Bad Ass parked the car, walked around the house, went in the front door, got the keys to the shed, walked back around the house and got the evil garden hoe from the shed. Her great Grand Father gave her that hoe....on his deathbed he claimed to have killed over 100 Irish men with that hoe.

Bad Ass then proceeds to hack away at the poor snake, removing his body from it's head. It only took her two swings! (it takes more to put down an Irish man!)

After ol snakey was dead, Bad Ass decides to leave the body on the driveway as a warning to other snakes! So, instead of cleaning up the mess, Bad Ass went inside to watch Oprah and drink a few glasses of wine.

When I got home from the bar I found the snake in the driveway. The snake is approximately 4 feet long and has some sort of pattern on its back. I went online and did a search, all I could find was someting called a Rat Snake, but according to the web site they only live in upper Ohio. Do any of you know what kind of snake this is? Bad Ass really wants to know before she desides on a Marinade to cook it with. Please post on the comment section below.

That last photo is to show the length, I know you cannot see the markings but Bad Ass really wanted me to post it. The one below is from last weekend, notice the little logo on our license plate...yea were from TEXAS!